


Ill-timed boners

by PoisonJack



Category: Borderlands, Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom
Genre: Established Relationship, Frottage, General au, Jack and Rhys are both fuckin nerds, M/M, No one is surprised that Jack would empty an office just to dry hump his boyfriend bahahah, Rhys as Jack's PA, ill-timed boners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 01:29:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5951068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonJack/pseuds/PoisonJack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This popped into my head after a bottle of wine and laughing about the ill-timed boners line from TFTBL. </p>
<p>Basically, Rhys gets a boner during a budget meeting, Jack wants to make the most of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ill-timed boners

**Author's Note:**

> Shined this up a bit from my original tumblr post, as I am wont to do. 
> 
> Me and wine need to write fanfiction together more often.

“-and because of that, we expect stock to rise _at least_ ten percent, give or take a half.”

“Hm.” Jack nodded as Rhys fidgeted in the seat next to him.

“So of course, sir, this means the budget for the new lab will be more than overflowing-”

Jack shot a glance at Rhys as the younger man fidgeted next to him. The hell was his problem?

“-and research can begin as soon as it’s furnished.”

“Yeah yeah yeah I don’t care about that,” Jack stated with a flourish of his hand and another glance at Rhys before looking to the man addressing the room. “What about a second station? Mini Helios? When can we begin that?”

The man presenting looked to another department lead.

“If stocks continue to rise and we can cut our expenditures through next quarter-” a woman from the budget department began, “-then there should be sufficient overflow to begin on those plans. Right, Logan?”

Jack ignored the man that answered her as he shot another look at Rhys, the younger man biting his lip and obviously trying but failing to focus on the meeting. Jack’s whole expression changed from one of puzzlement to amusement as he noticed the younger man was pitching a tent. 

Rhys chose that inopportune moment to meet Jack’s glance, and the older man’s lips quirked in a lecherous grin. Rhys frowned at his hands in his lap, trying to cover his erection a little too late from Jack’s notice.

“The architects say that much of the prefabrications can already begin, however, sir.”

Someone was talking to him, but Jack suddenly didn’t care about the budget and profits meeting or his new mini space station to cover more of Pandora.

“Everyone leave.” Jack was grinning at Rhys, and as he realized his ears were met with silence, he turned a glare on the room. “You got something in your ears? OUT.”

The room quickly vacated, and Jack just sat next to Rhys with a smirk, not saying anything until everyone was gone. Rhys didn’t even bother attempting to leave. He wouldn’t even _if_ Jack wasn’t giving him the most amused look he’d ever seen.

“You, uh, got a little thing for budget meetings there, princess?” Jack’s voice was all teasing fun, a huge grin splitting his face. 

Rhys didn’t look at him, but his face was red. “I don’t _even_ know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about your little friend there,” Jack stated with ultimate amusement as he leaned back totally comfortable in his chair. “Maybe not so little at the moment.”

“Oh my god Jack really?”

“Does cash get you hot, cupcake? Was it hearing about all the new investors?”

Rhys whimpered and leaned to put his head against the table as Jack teased him. His face was absolutely scarlet. “Please shut up.”

“Oh I know. It was how accounting upgraded their software, right? You little weirdo.”

Rhys shot him a frown. “It’s nothing of the sort. It was nothing.” 

“Now now kitten I wouldn’t call that thing there noth-”

“Oh god shut up,” Rhys said as he buried his hands in his hair and Jack cackled. “Nothing caused it. Just… just ill-timed biology with no cause, Jack. Okay?”

Jack snorted and chose that moment to close in on the younger man. “Really? Just an ill-timed boner? Not all that hot hot talk of imports/exports and profit margins?” The older man nosed about Rhys’ jaw with a grin. “I know it makes _me_ hard just thinking about the bottom line.”

“Quit it,” Rhys whined of the teasing. 

Jack just laughed and pressed a kiss to his jaw as he slunk a palm over Rhys’ thigh. His breath was hot on the younger man's neck. “So if I started whispering code in your ear, you _won’t_ come in your pants?”

That actually made Rhys chuckle and meet his eyes. “You’re a jerk.”

“No no honey I’m the nicest guy around,” he said with a grin as he kissed Rhys’ nose. “Come on, pumpkin. Hands up, pants down.”

Rhys sat up and back in his chair with a lopsided grin at Jack. “ _Seriously_?” he said incredulously. He got up out of his chair with the intention to move towards the door; distance himself from the man that just wanted to make the problem worse. He attempted to hide his erection with his hands. “Just let it go. We still have two more meetings. Just give me a bit and it’ll go away.”

Jack, too, got out of his chair and crowded Rhys in against the wall he’d chosen to escape to. Bad choice. Jack was more than interested in Rhys' little problem.

The younger man gave the CEO a look that seemed to say, ‘really?’ Jack just dragged hands down Rhys' forearms to move him from guarding his erection, pressed their lower halves together and ground his hips against Rhys’ with a grin. He was also hard. 

“Just waiting it away is such a waste, Rhysie. And it’s just faster to deal with it, don’t you think?”

Instead of answering, Rhys moaned as Jack ground his clothed cock against the younger man. Rhys gripped his shoulders, biting his lip as Jack gripped his ass.

“Yeah, better be quiet, sweetheart. Everyone in the outside offices might hear you.”

“Jack pl- _o-o-ooooooh_ ,” Rhys broke off to groan. Jack bit at his neck and whispered dirty words- interspersed with some simple code just to tease- as they rocked against each other.

“Come on sweetheart. You’re the one who said we didn’t have time.” His voice was husky and breath hot against Rhys' ear. It made the younger man shiver in pleasure. Jack thrust his hips against the younger man and Rhys choked back a moan.

“…do that again…please, _please please Jack_ ,” he said quickly as he rubbed against the CEO.

The dirty chuckles made his loins tighten and his cock twitch. Jack teased him as he wrenched sounds out of him; but for Rhys being the one to get meeting-wood, it was actually Jack who came in his pants first. Rhys whined as the CEO somewhat stilled against him, grinding against the older man.

“Oh, I wouldn’t leave you like this sugar,” Jack whispered with heavy breath, and he palmed the younger man through his pants. Rhys was clenching his fingers into the older man’s shoulders as he basically humped the CEO’s hand, all the while Jack whispering how everyone outside probably knew how Rhys was getting off just to Handsome Jack’s hand and voice. When Jack told him he’d hold him down and suck him when they got home later tonight, Rhys’ hips hitched into Jack’s grasping palm and he came with a strangled groan. 

Jack was lightly chuckling, stroking over the front of the younger man’s softening cloth erection until Rhys pushed his hand away. The CEO kissed at his cheeks and mouth, making the younger man sigh. He held close to Jack, catching his breath, legs unsteady while Jack just sang his praises.

“I feel gross,” Rhys told him as he held onto the older man. He wanted a clean pair of underwear. They didn't have the time for that though.

“You should. Getting off to basic math terms… Dirty little thing.”

Rhys actually laughed. “Oh shut up.”

Jack was grinning back at him. “Let’s get cleaned up and get to that next meeting. As much as you’re certain you can _actually_ handle it, kitten.”

Rhys followed him out of the meeting room with a smirk, whispering softly to the older man as they made their way to the restrooms. “If you so much as whisper the Pythagorean theorem when we’re in bed, you’re sleeping on the couch.”

“But pumpkin, you know I’d do absolutely _anything_ to please you in bed. Even read the budget reports aloud.”

“Do it and I won’t blow you for a month.”

Jack just smirked. “Duly noted.”

**Author's Note:**

> I still take requests and all that. Getting through things still but you can always drop me a line or request on my tumblr. Apologies in advance if it's not something I can do! Really appreciate the time you folks take to mail me :)
> 
> http://purge-that-urge-rhackathon.tumblr.com


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